Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
