i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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