i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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