I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
