I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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