We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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