Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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