Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
