dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
