Its about making memories worth repressing
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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