I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
