Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no, he came in my armpit
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
