So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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