There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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