Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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