I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize