You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
