All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
