I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is Oprah even human
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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