Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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