i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
