the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
