Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
