I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
