Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't deserve a penis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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