your room smells of hookers.
And success
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize