dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
