Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
why is half of my head shaved?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
