hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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