Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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