I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
