Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
