hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
