You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
