How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
