he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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