And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
