i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
