Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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