i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
