When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
