People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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