I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize