I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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