eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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