I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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