whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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