If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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