I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When are your genitals available?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize