508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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