Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
