in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
