Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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