I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
