Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
