i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
