Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need to calm my uterus...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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