All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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