Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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