Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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