Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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