i think my tv is drunk
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
