theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i will never coherently bang her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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