Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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